Sunday

know what.i totally lose my sanity.yes!superblah mia.now im so fuckin dunno myself n im so fuckin hurt badly.i know i should not act o behave like this.but i cant control myself.im sorry,i thought i was strong enough to keep my sane in good condition but i was wrong.im not that strong.im really sorry to that person.im not strong.coz everytime i got the strength to stand up strong,something always occurred and i fall down really bad!!u think i want this?hell no i dont.its easy for u to say that all can be well,but it is not okay.its not well,its not gonna be okay coz im not okay at all!im done lying to myself,lying to my feeling,when the fact is i know,that i cannot bare any of this.dont u see, im hurt,im badly hurt.and i know u are too.i know but u acted like its easy to let go.to move on to to whatever u want but thats not like me.i know i know i dah promise.bialah i gila sorang sorang.at least i bole buat keje gila without feeling any guilt o whatsoever.if anything happen to me,dont worrylah,i dont want to be a burden to u or anybody else.just let me be me.if i regret later,well i know thats my choice from the beginning.so be it.im done being nice and good and pretending i dont care o care at times.yes i need time to fixed myself.but i dunno how long would it takes.especially now,i dont thing im gonna be okay.hey at least i want to push myself to study hard and get good result.after that,i want to further my studies in master at oversea.i just want to fly myself far from malaysia for a while.and fine peacefulness somewhere else.i hope i managed to achieve that.to much memories to much hurt to much things that reminding me of u.and it makes me mad.yes,im gone crazy coz all my hope and all my faith crumble down upon me.so pathetic of me.

Crawling in my skin 
These wounds, they will not heal 
Fear is how I fall 
Confusing what is real 

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface 
Consuming, confusing 
This lack of self control I fear is never ending 
Controlling 

I can't seem 
To find myself again 
My walls are closing in 
(Without a sense of confidence I’m convinced that there’s just too much pressure to take) 
I've felt this way before 
So insecure 

Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me 
Distracting, reacting 
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection 
It's haunting how I can't seem... 

To find myself again 
My walls are closing in 
(Without a sense of confidence I’m convinced that there’s just too much pressure to take) 
I've felt this way before 
So insecure 

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface 
Consuming, confusing 
This lack of self control I fear is never ending 
Controlling

3 comments:

marliyati mohatar said...

jom ollyday p bandung...
release tension tuh..

m.jy said...

ahahah jom.tiket on u lah kn.
hey2 i got hott story!! cpt baleklah ati oi.

aixoruz said...

uih..terigt kt sapeee tuu miaa? :)